Sex on the first date, yes or no?

Written by Rosie Brooks Sex

Sex on the first date

I’m going to make it clear from the start, definitely yes. Obviously, we’re talking about consensual sex between two adults, so, why not? Forget that rubbish about 

“you shouldn’t have sex until the third date” and that type of stuff. So, if you’re asking if you should have sex on the first date, the answer is that if both of you want to, go right ahead.

Naturally, I’m not even going to start talking about the idea of waiting to have sex until you’re married. This absurd idea has brought a great deal of problems to many marriages for a long time. So, I’ll just say it once, don’t do it.

Sexuality is one of the most important parts of a couple’s life. Are you going to risk discovering that you’re not sexually compatible on the wedding night? Or worse, that she doesn’t like it?

So, that’s that.

Why are you asking yourself if you should sleep with someone on the first date?

If you’ve come across this article through a Google search on the topic of sex on the first date. Why?

Are you religious? Are there family or other types of pressure?

The truth is that there’s no need for you to be questioning why things happen the way they do. They just happen.

Can I sleep with someone the first night I meet them? How many dates should I have before having sex?

Stop worrying about it.

Another thing is if one of you lacks sex drive. In this case it’s normal to have sex on the first date. The problem is when both of you feel like having sex and something stops you.

first dates

What you have to bear in mind before having sex on the first date

There are various things to bear in mind before sleeping with someone on the first date.

  1. If you have to suggest it then perhaps things aren’t flowing

Obviously, it has to be consensual, but there are situations in which it’s not necessary to discuss it to know that you’re going to have sex on the first date.

  1. The place you meet tells you a lot about how the night will end

It’s not the same thing to meet in Starbucks (you’d have to be a bloody genius to have sex in a Starbucks on the first date) than in one of those hotels where you won’t see anyone you know and you pay by card.

They’re nowhere close.

  1. Is it a blind date or do you already know her?

If it’s a blind date then you don’t know anything about her, on the other hand, if you already know her or you’ve met her on a dating site such as Shag, then you have an idea about which way it will go.

Advantages and disadvantages on having sex on the first date

How many dates should you have before you have sex? It depends. Very few things are good or bad in and of themselves. Normally it’s the person who does good or bad things.

With sex it’s the same.

This is neither good nor bad in itself. So, when faced with the question, how many dates should I have before having sex the answer can only be, it depends on what happens. How things go. Who you have in front of you.

Let’s look at the advantages of having sex on the first date.

how many dates before sex


  1. You satisfy your desire for a little casual sex.

You don’t owe each other anything on the first date, so you can have casual sex and satisfy your needs. As long as it’s clear from the start that you’re being true to yourself.

If you show yourself to be different than how you really are in order to have sex you’re not being very honest.

2. Having sex so soon will give you a lot of information about someone.

To start, you’ll find out if you’re compatible in bed. The other way will take a lot longer to find out. Of course, there are other human qualities that are more important.

But people can’t live without sex. 

  1. Love that comes from sex is marvellous.

Have you ever fallen in love after lots of shagging? No? Well, you should. The sex isn’t the most important thing in a stable relationship, but it’s one of the pillars on which all the other rest.

So, if you’re lucky enough to be in a relationship that started with a kiss on the first date, a one-night stand and then carried on, congratulations, finding a partner in this way is a bonus.

4. Whatever happens, you can choose not to see this person again.

As long as you don’t discover that you’ve caught an STD or she’s pregnant – which would be really bad luck; remember that we’re only talking about making love on the first date – you don’t need to see this person again.

So, why not experiment? Why not be open to it?

5. There’s something beautiful in the intensity of it.

Sex is like pizza: even when it’s bad it’s quite good, so when it’s good, it’s marvellous.

Besides, if you both know that it’s just a one-night stand – at times there’s no other possibilities – it gives a slight tragic touch.

kiss on first date


  1. If it turns out badly it’s awful.

If a date turns out badly in a cafe it’s not a problem, you leave and that’s it. Each one to their own home. But if there’s a catastrophic failure while you’re having sex on the first date, it’s going to be complicated.

Or even worse. You’re not compatible. So, all the effort has been for nothing.

2. Things can be misinterpreted

You can have sex on the first date which is like fireworks and even then you don’t want to see her again. She, in turn, could believe that something magical has happened and that you’re made for each other.

Or vice versa. Whatever happens, it can be a bitter cup to swallow, because it’s like reality slapped you when you discover the other person wasn’t on the same cloud nine as you.

3. There’s more risk in catching an STD

When you don’t know someone and you go to bed with them, you must make sure you’re protected. In reality, you must always be protected, if you don’t want any surprises.

The only reason to justify having sex with someone without protecting and/or without using contraception is that you want to have a baby and it doesn’t bother you if catch something weird on your genitals – which in the best-case scenario – will cost you both some prayers and some help to get rid of.

And that’s it. Really. I can’t find any more disadvantages in sleeping with someone on the first date as long as you use adequate protection.

Shag: the dating site with the most likelihood of sleeping with someone on the first date.

Our name says it all: Shag. It’s clear that it’s not a web for painting and colouring, right? The men and women in the Shag community have things clear: they want to have fun.

Besides, technically speaking, you’ll always meet for the first time on the platform, as you will have spoken to her and seen her likes and sexual preferences.

So, the first time you see each other in person won’t – technically speaking – be a first date.

And hopefully not the last.

Sex on the first date: Should you or shouldn't you?
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Sex on the first date: Should you or shouldn't you?
Are you asking yourself if you should have sex on the first date with someone? Are you in that situation? We have the solution
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