To spot a catfish, look for inconsistencies between a dating profile and what someone tells you, repeated excuses for avoiding a meeting, and pressure to send money or keep the connection secret. No single photo or friendly conversation can prove someone’s identity.
Dating without commitment still involves trust. You can take time to get to know someone and decline a meeting without collecting enough evidence to accuse them of anything. The aim is to make a decision you feel comfortable with, while keeping your money and personal information protected.
FIND PEOPLE NEAR YOU
What is catfishing?
Catfishing means using a false online identity to deceive someone. It can involve stolen photographs or a made-up personal story. Romance fraud is financial exploitation through a fabricated romantic connection; it can begin through dating sites or other online conversations.
A person using flattering photographs is not automatically a catfish. Nor does someone become trustworthy because their profile looks ordinary. Focus on their behaviour and whether the information they share fits together.
Warning signs worth taking seriously
The Police Service of Northern Ireland describes common romance-scam tactics, including building a connection quickly, moving the conversation away from the original platform and repeatedly finding reasons not to meet.
Be particularly cautious if that pattern comes with an urgent request for money, pressure to keep secrets or a story that changes when you ask an ordinary question. A request for travel money to meet you is still a request for money.
There can be innocent reasons for a delayed meeting or reluctance to use video. You do not need to decide which explanation is true before saying no to a payment or pausing the conversation.
Check the photos, but understand the limits
A reverse image search may show that a profile picture belongs to someone else or appears under another name. Age UK’s catfishing advice explains checks you can make and warning signs to consider.
If a search finds nothing, it has not verified the person. A new, private or altered photograph may have no obvious result. Treat the search as one check rather than a pass-or-fail identity test. Do not contact an unrelated person shown in a photograph to demand an explanation.
Ask ordinary questions and keep your own details private
You can ask about the interests they mention or suggest a brief video conversation if you both want one. For example: “Would you be comfortable having a quick video chat before we arrange coffee?” They can decline, and you can decide not to meet.
Avoid demanding passport photographs, account details or a workplace address as proof. You should not send yours either. A stranger does not need your banking login, security codes or identity documents to arrange a date. Be careful about sharing intimate images or details that identify your home.
A call may help you judge whether you enjoy talking, but it cannot guarantee someone’s identity, intentions or safety. Keep the same boundaries afterwards.
If you decide to meet
Choose a public place and a specific time, arrange your own transport and tell someone you trust your plans. You can keep the first meeting short. If the person insists on a private address or a last-minute location change that makes you uncomfortable, decline.
An example reply is: “I’m happy to meet at the café we discussed. I’m not comfortable changing to your flat.” You do not need to soften that boundary with a promise to do it another time.
Be clear about what you are looking for too. Our casual dating guide covers intentions and first meetings. Wanting a casual date never means agreeing in advance to sex.
If they ask for money or you have already paid
Report Fraud advises against sending money to someone you have only met online, including vouchers, cryptocurrency and supposed investments. Report the request to the dating service. Do not pay to resolve an emergency story or unlock a promised visit.
If you have already made a payment, contact your bank as soon as possible. Keep relevant messages and payment details for your report. Report Fraud provides the reporting route for England, Wales and Northern Ireland; in Scotland, report to Police Scotland on 101. Be wary of anyone who later offers to recover the money for a fee.
Being deceived does not make you foolish. Speak to someone you trust and use the official support links above rather than dealing with the situation alone.
You can stop without proving a scam
If the conversation feels wrong, you can end it, block the account using the service’s available controls or report concerning behaviour. State the facts in a report rather than guessing who the person is.
When meeting people through Shag or any other service, keep checks and boundaries in place even when you feel a connection. A good date starts with both people being comfortable with the plan. You are free to leave or decline another meeting.
