First dates can be wonderful or a complete disaster. Other times they are neither good nor bad. But don’t be fooled, when it’s neither good nor bad, it’s because it’s a bad first date, but you’re reluctant to admit it.
Signs of a worst first date
Once I met a girl I had met on a site like Shag -the best dating site in England did not yet exist- and it was one of the worst first dates of my life and, therefore, what comes now, a one of the worst worst first date stories that I can tell you.
Everything seemed to be going well, or at least well for me. I really liked her. As soon as it was time to say goodbye, I began to suspect that something was wrong.
She had had a rough time, sure, but she hadn’t had the courage to leave before the date was over. What that woman did not know is that it would have been much better that way.
There’s nothing wrong with saying, “hey, look, this isn’t working. I’m sure there are hundreds of girls who want to meet you, but I’m not one of them. I hope everything goes well for you.”
However, she laughed at all my jokes, appeared to be enjoying herself, and said goodbye at the end of a short walk after dinner.
There was no kiss. That made me a little suspicious, but not much. There are people who wait for the second date to do certain things, like kissing on the mouth.
But, she ghosted me and I never heard from her again. There were a pretty painful few days after that, I really liked her.
Since then I have paid attention to the signs.
Signs she’s not interested after a first date
They are there for you to see. There are signs that show she’s not interested after a first date, and they are all – or almost all- during it.
1. You are not looking for the same thing
For example, you are looking for the love of your life The princess bride style – a bit difficult if you look for it in Shag, but stranger things have happened – and she just wants a one night stand.
She may want a submissive dog to whip and you’re not up for it, which is quite understandable, on the other hand. The best way to avoid misunderstandings and a bad first date is to speak clearly and openly about what each one is looking for.
2. First date warning signs: No apologies for being late
One of the most valuable first date warnings is time. And no one likes to waste it. At least no one who isn’t immortal.
The fact is, there’s nothing wrong with being late. Sometimes in life there are unforeseen events. Maybe your car broke down going to the date. Your train might have derailed. Maybe you are the victim of an express kidnapping scheme.
What is not admissible is not apologizing and arriving without notifying before the delay. If someone shows up late and pretends nothing has happened, they are disrespecting you and also indicates that the date was not very high on their list of priorities.
Bad business.
3. You do not connect
A few awkward silences are normal on a first date, because of nerves. However, if you see that you do not have any common interests to talk about, it is probably a bad first date and it is not worth meeting again.
You don’t have to set out to change the other person, you have to feel that there is some connection between you.
Flirting is also a good sign on a first date, so be suspicious if neither of you feels like flirting.
4. One of you (or both of you) gets distracted easily
If at any given moment you find yourself thinking about something else, the date is not going well. If you notice that the same thing happens to your partner, something is not working.
Once, when I was with my future wife in a famous chain of coffee shops, a man came in and forced the cash register. We didn’t realize it and half the cafeteria had panicked. We were so deep in our conversation that if a reindeer had asked me for a cigarette I would have given it to him without flinching.
And that was during the summer.
If one of the two constantly looks at the mobile, bad. If you look at other people, bad. They are first date warning signs and you should be aware of them.
5. She talks all the time about her ex
Everyone talks from time to time about their ex. In fact, it is a sign that everything is going well in that regard. If you are not able to talk about your previous relationship, something is wrong.
But if she doesn’t stop talking, if she’s mentioning her ex all the time, it’s either that she still has feelings for that person or she hasn’t gotten over the breakup.
And you are not there to heal anyone’s love wounds. So it is best not to mention the subject.
Asking about your ex is clearly in the bag of bad first date questions.
6. Being rude to other people
Normally people put their best face on the first date. Sometimes that face is authentic and other times, a pure facade, a mask. If you see your date misbehaving with other people—especially watch how they interact with waiters—sooner or later they’ll be mean to you. And it’s easy to get into a toxic relationship, but hard to get out of it.
7. There are indications that she is a jealous person
If on the first date she already shows signs that she is a jealous person – for example, she gets nervous or pouts when you tell about past experiences or who you usually meet with – do not ignore it.
Your date shouldn’t make you feel bad when she finds out you’re meeting your friends; since they are still part of your life.
That includes ex-partners, if you stay friends.
8. You have different life values
Thinking in different ways is not bad. In fact, it can be enriching. It is a very different thing to have different moral values.
For example, politics does not have to be a big obstacle. It shouldn’t be, at least.
But if you think stealing is wrong and your date doesn’t tell the restaurant that they gave you way more change than they should have, you’re bound to run into trouble down the line.
Similarly, if you’re vegan and you feel bad watching your date eat a rare ribeye, you probably won’t feel like kissing her at the end of dinner.
Shag – the perfect dating site to clear things up
Ok, the first date went bad, now what? My advice is to keep meeting women and men on Shag, the dating site that lets you talk to your future date about anything you want. What’s more, it has the most powerful search filter on the market.
Using it well you will be able to select almost to the millimeter the type of person with whom you are going to talk.
And it is that, in the card game that is human relations, most errors are pre-flop, that is, before putting the cards on the table.
Starting a game in Shag is totally free
What do you want to play?
