Do you feel like your relationship is going through a rough patch but you’re not sure about breaking up? How do you know when your relationship is really over? It’s normal to feel these kinds of insecurities at times like this, but let me tell you something: listen to your intuition.
If something inside you tells you that you should break up with your partner, it is for a reason. Even if you don’t know exactly why.
And it is that, when the shadows lurk, you are getting closer to the truth.
The problem is that we dress the truth with a lot of self-protective strategies, the most effective of all being self-deception. Your brain doesn’t want you to face difficulties, so it does its best to maintain the status quo in your life. But that’s how you suffer. Being in a relationship out of inertia or fear instead of love is a tragedy.
Therefore, we are going to teach you to identify ten signs your relationship is beyond repair.
Whether you ignore them or listen to them and confront them is up to you.
Just one thing: to fight for a toxic relationship -later we will see what that is- is to deny the possibility of a compatible relationship that could be waiting for you out there.
How to know if your relationship is over? Ten unmistakable signs
How to know if your relationship is over? There are signs. Signs that your relationship is failing. You don’t have to identify them all at once. But if they sound too familiar to you, the best thing is to stop your relationship and start listening to everything that until now you didn’t dare to face.
Sometimes the signals are hidden in ways that are difficult to see, others act with the stealth of a one-man band.
1. There is no emotional connection
If you feel that you can no longer tell everything that goes through your head to your partner, it means that there is no longer a connection between the two. The problem arises when this becomes a pattern and the communication begins to disappear. You don’t tell each other everything anymore and you don’t even have the same comedic perspective anymore.
This is very important: all healthy couples have a kind of private, almost affectionate humor that only that one partner is likely to understand.
If this goes away, your relationship is in a coma, I assure you. Lack of connection is one of the clearest signs she’s not into you anymore and vice versa.
2. Intimate relationships have become a formality
It is normal that, as time goes by, sexual relations suffer and that they can get to be little more than a formality. But if you are totally bored of doing it or you do it for commitment and not for pleasure, then your relationship has hit rock bottom.
If the mere thought of having sex with your partner makes you feel repulsed, you should end the relationship. This is one of the most obvious signs your relationship is failing.
3. You begin to like other people – inside too
Another of the signs your relationship is failing.
This is, perhaps, one of the main reasons why relationships end. I do not mean that you like the physique of other people, forget about the body and think about intelligence, humor or personality.
If other women attract more attention to you instead of your partner, your relationship is dead. You don’t need any external signal to identify it: you already know what’s going on.
Before it didn’t matter if Scarlet Johansson tried to flirt with you, you didn’t pay attention to her, your sweetheart was waiting at home and that’s all you needed.
Instead, the other day you would have easily slept with a cave troll you met at the disco.
Friends, nature and your subconscious are screaming at you.
With a megaphone glued to your ear.
Listen to one of the most powerful warning signs of a relationship over: falling in love with another.
What more signs do you need? Do yourself a favor and end the relationship.
4. You don’t feel like seeing your partner
In most relationships, when we return home, meeting our partner is one of the most beautiful moments of the day.
Until one of those days you wake up and discover that you don’t care if she’s there or not. You would even prefer that she wasn’t.
Sometimes that happens even in the best couples. Sometimes you just want to be alone. Other times, you want to do something that your partner doesn’t like you doing around them, like smoking.
These kinds of things are normal.
The problem comes when that lack of interest lasts for months or even years. How to know if your relationship is over? If you don’t want to see her…
What else do you need to know?
5. The plans you make together are an ordeal
When you were in love, all the plans you made together were fun and exciting.
The proposal did not matter: Do you want us to walk the entire perimeter of the UK? Cool! Shall we see a cycle of silent films? Perfect! Are we going to see my parents? Hmmmm, come on, anything for my babe.
It was like being on an emotional roller coaster: ups, downs, turns… Everything was exciting.
But now it’s the opposite: when you plan something together, all you want is to run away. The mere idea of being locked in a small space, or worse, in the open field with your partner fills you with anguish and anxiety. Thinking of spending a Sunday with her parents is like thinking of hell.
And it does not surprise you: how can you be calm if the person in front of you is someone with whom you no longer feel comfortable? Don’t blame yourself for not wanting to spend time with your partner.
What you should do is end the relationship before everything hurts more.
Remember this: the longer you delay, the more it will hurt. It is a universal law. That is why it is so important to know when to know a relationship is over
6. It is difficult to agree on something
In the best relationships, even if there are problems and arguments from time to time, it is easy to reach an agreement.
Both are willing to give a little to make the relationship work
But in others, it is simply impossible: there is nothing to agree on. It happens for various reasons: maybe you no longer have the same goals in life, or your values are very different.
When this happens, arguments and fights are inevitable. And the worst thing is that, in the vast majority of cases, there is no solution.
If you realize that you are in such a relationship, you must end it before it is too late.
7. You no longer trust your partner
When to know a relationship is over? When you no longer trust your partner.
Either because you have caught her in several lies or directly, cheating on you with another person, you no longer trust her.
Trust is very important in relationships. When it is broken, it is difficult (if not impossible) to rebuild it. And without trust, the relationship is dead.
How are you going to love and respect someone you don’t trust? That makes no sense. The best thing you can do is end the relationship
8. Fights are becoming more frequent and intense
There is nothing wrong with arguing from time to time: it is natural and healthy. But when fights become more frequent and intense, it means that there is a very serious problem.
If before you could solve the arguments with a calm conversation, now you end up shouting and saying things that you would never think to say. And the worst thing is that these fights lead nowhere: they don’t solve anything and they don’t make the relationship grow.
So if you want to know when to know a relationship is over, look at the fights.
9. You have realized that she does not respect you
Respect is one of the most important bases in any relationship. Without respect, there is no possible relationship.
Why? Because respect means accepting the other person as they are, with their strengths and weaknesses. It means loving and supporting her, even in difficult times.
If your partner does not respect you, all they are doing is harming you and making you suffer. You don’t deserve that.
10. You no longer make plans for the future.
Before, you talked about having or not having children, about whether it would be convenient to live in other places or not, and those kinds of important things. Now, instead, it is as if everything is on standby.
There are no longer short, medium or long term plans. There is no talk of the possibility of living together, much less of getting married and having a family.
That is very bad, because it means that the relationship has stagnated and is no longer moving forward. And if there are no future plans, what is the use of moving forward?
When you notice these signs, it’s time to end the relationship. It is the best thing you can do for yourself. This way at least you will stop feeling alone in a relationship.
If you stay in a relationship that hurts you, you’re wasting your time. The best thing you can do is end it and find someone you can be really happy with.
So then…
When to call it quits in a relationship?
You have just identified several of the signs that we described above in your own relationship and you are already more or less certain that you should leave it, but are you one of those who have never known when to call it quits in a relationship?
Calm down and read on, we will explain it to you below.
First of all, you should analyze the situation well to see if it is really worth fighting for the relationship or if it is better to leave it.
To do this, you can ask yourself the following questions:
1. Do I see a future in this relationship?
2. Can the problems we have be solved?
3. Am I happy in this relationship?
4. Am I willing to change to save her?
If you have asked yourself these questions and you are still not sure what to do, it is best to talk to a specialist. A psychologist or a couples therapist can help you see the situation more clearly and make the best decisión.
In any case, if you have come to the conclusion that it is best to end the relationship, you should do it in the most respectful and kind way possible. You will mitigate the damage and feel less guilty.
Never forget that the other person is also suffering and going through a difficult time. So you have to be careful with the words you use.
In short, you must be clear and direct, but without hurting -as much as possible- the feelings of the other person.
Ultimately, if that person doesn’t have the tools to know how to get over a breakup, it is not your fault.
You give her the respect that every person deserves, period.
How do I know if a relationship is toxic?
Do you think your relationship is toxic but you are not sure? Well, then you should read this section.
A healthy relationship is characterized by respect, trust, honesty, freedom and love. On the other hand, in a toxic relationship jealousy, possession, control, violence and abuse predominate.
You should also keep in mind that a toxic relationship is one in which one of the people uses the other to satisfy their own needs and does not care what happens to the other.
In short, if there are more problems than happy moments in your relationship, it would be best to end the relationship.
You will have a much better time without that toxic person by your side.
