I’m going to make it clear to you from the beginning: there is no answer to that question. At least not a numerical one. There are no magic numbers. It’s not four dates, not ten dates, not six dates. So faced with the question, how many dates before a relationship? The only answer you will get is: it depends.
| The number of dates before making the relationship official will depend on each couple and their circumstances. Only one thing is clear, do not try it on the first date. Going too fast is counterproductive 99% of the time. |
Warning, this article does not talk about how to get out of the friendzone. We are talking about romantic dates. Not to meet with a girl you like. That is another topic.
As we said, when asked how many dates before a relationship? No number can be answered. That said, there are some signs that the time has come to make a relationship official.
Let ‘s see them.
1. You are not interested in other women
You are in the disco dancing and a girl does not stop looking at you. It’s doesn’t look bad at all, but she’s not like the girl you’re dating lately. What’s more, suddenly you have a horrible desire to stop partying and see her. You’d rather a million times watch a movie marathon with a couch and blanket than be surrounded by people listening to blaring music.
2. She wants to meet your friends. You wouldn’t mind meeting hers
That means you’re interested in each other’s world a lot more than you would be if it were just another date.
3. You see each other more often as time goes by
If you can not spend a long time without seeing it and the other way around, the same thing happens. What stops you from calling it a relationship?
4. She leaves her toothbrush in your house. (Forever and ever)
For once, romantic comedies don’t lie. She starts by leaving the toothbrush, then fills up half the room with things from work and ends up ordering pizza with anchovies.
You can have two apartments, but it seems that you live together in the same one.
Well, if all this does not matter to you. Ahem… It’s official. You’re a couple.
5. She calls you babe, sweet, darling, love…
You know, those kinds of nicknames that are seen from outside the couple are embarrassing.
By the way, if you have reached the level of animal nicknames –because you will never be called “dog” or “orangutan” but rather “little ant” and “little bear”– the matter is getting out of hand by leaps and bounds.
6. She holds your hand
You are walking through the park and he takes your hand. Will you be cold? you think while you see some children cooling off with the water that expels a fire hydrant. It can’t be, it’s 44 degrees -you keep thinking- could it be that we’re dating?
Indeed, you are.
7. She gives you something that costs no money
You know, something generally ugly that she has had to spend many hours of her life to make. I’m talking about that little book made by hand with colored cardboard, or worse, a wool sweater that, once worn, makes you want someone to cut your jugular and end your suffering once and for all.
If you are happy with these types of gifts, you have access to the necessary dose of masochism that is needed to have a fruitful and official relationship.
8. Her parents know you exist
This in a town means nothing, but in a city, it means everything. No one tells their parents about the existence of someone who doesn’t matter.
If you meet them in person and it has not been a fatal accident, you can already say that you are dating.
9. She dares to fart in front of you
Not all signs when you are starting to date someone are equally relevant. Throwing the first fart is only behind saying “I love you” and very close to a marriage proposal in terms of transcendence.
A nuance: an accidental fart is not the same as one expelled with premeditation and treachery.
Take care though. You may think that your lover is ready for this level of commitment and that is not the case. It’s a very risky bet, you may not see her again.
It takes a lot of trust for love.
10. It is easy for you to say how you feel
Communication is everything. If you can communicate to the point of talking about feelings or telling each other your sexual fantasies openly, then you are ready to be a couple. If he says “I love you” and the same words come out of your mouth without your brain doing anything to prevent it, then you are.
The “I love you” should only be pronounced when you have gone through each and every one of the phases explained above. And before doing so, we must be sure that the other person is going to answer “me too”.
There is nothing worse in this world than saying “I love you” to someone and that person answers you with a “pass me the Ketchup”.
What does exclusivity mean in a relationship?
The meaning of an exclusive relationship is that you are in a monogamous relationship. You have reached a pact -it can be explicit or implicit- in which you agree not to be with anyone else.
An advice? It is best to talk about it openly. So there are no misunderstandings.
This is not to say that you can’t have another type of relationship, such as an open or polyamorous relationship, and be a couple. The world is full of happy non-traditional couples.
You can also read: What is Polyamory?
How long should I date before getting into a relationship?
Again, the question “how long should I date before getting into a relationship?” is a wrong question. It is neither a question of time nor of the number of previous dates.
It’s about how things go in the couple. There are couples who don’t even need to talk about it. They simply allow themselves to slip into commitment without realizing it and, after a time – which varies depending on the couple – they already know they are committed.
Others, on the other hand, need to have “the talk”. That talk usually talks about the terms of the deal, so to speak. Open or exclusive relationship? Do we make it official or is it better to keep it low key for now? What does the woman look for in the man? And he in her?
Those kinds of things are what are talked about in a talk like this. In any case, as we have already pointed out on many occasions, it depends on each couple.
Be careful with something: if sometimes it seems that you are dating and another day the opposite and this behavior extends over time, know that you are being the victim of intermittent reinforcement and it is something that can destroy you inside. You would be fully involved in a toxic relationship.
How to ask if we’re exclusive
There are only two ways to find out. One of them is asking directly. It is the best way but you have to be very clear about the answer.
How to ask if we’re exclusive ? Here are some examples of direct questions.
- We have been dating for a while. Are we going to be faithful or can we date other people?
- Do you still go out with other guys? Can I still date other girls?
- At what point are we? Are we engaged or are we still dating other people too?
- Could it be said that we are a couple?
This is the best way because the questions are so direct that, if you answer evasively, you will know that you are not ready to be dating exclusively.
The other way is to be more subtle and ask indirect questions.
- How is your love life going?
- What would you say is the best moment to date someone exclusively?
- What do you think about open relationships?
- Would you mind if I date other people?
These questions are not going to give you an answer as clear as the previous ones, but they can give you many clues.
We strongly advise speaking clearly, always, in any circumstance. Sometimes it’s scary, it’s true.
Life is like that.
Exclusivity, therefore, is something that must be approached with caution. Some girls may not be interested in commitment. Others may take it as a threat to their freedom and walk away. But as we have said, a sincere and open conversation about the subject is the best option.
There are many ways to approach the issue of exclusivity, but they all have to start from respect.
In any case, it is important that you are honest and open. Don’t try to manipulate her into saying what you want to hear. And don’t get mad if she’s not interested in being your exclusive partner. Remember that not all girls want the same thing and that you also have the right to decide what you want.
Shag: the exclusivity of having sex when you feel like it
Okay, maybe you told her I love you within twenty minutes of meeting her. Maybe she introduced you to her parents and you almost ended up getting punched. You may not have read our article about how many dates before a relationship? The fact is that you have scared her and you have been left without your possible girlfriend and, what is worse, without a plan for this weekend.
That’s where Shag comes in. Our website is designed so that the people who make up our community have contacts with other similar users.
Geographical proximity and many other filters can help you better choose your date.
Joining is completely free.
Do you want a little party this weekend? Yes? No?
