To meet new people, choose a setting where conversation is welcome, go back if you enjoy it and make a small invitation when you get on with someone. A shared activity gives you something to talk about; you do not need an impressive opening line.
That might mean a local reading group, a class or a date arranged online. Start with what you want from the meeting. Making friends and looking for dating without commitment can both be part of your life, but the people you meet deserve to know which invitation you are making.
FIND PEOPLE NEAR YOU
Choose a plan you would enjoy anyway
If you like the activity itself, an evening can still be worthwhile even when you do not click with anyone. Choose something that fits your time, budget and access needs rather than signing up for a hobby you dislike because you think it will attract dates.
Meetup’s UK events directory lists groups and events for interests such as games, music, outdoor activities and art. Search around your own town, read the event description and check whether booking or payment is required. A listing is a place to start, not a guarantee of the people you will meet.
For another option, Better lists adult activities at its libraries, including creative writing, English conversation and Knit and Knatter groups. Look at your local library’s timetable: availability and any eligibility conditions vary by session.
You can also ask your council, local library or a nearby charity about classes and volunteering. If you volunteer, choose a role you are willing to carry out. People are there to support the work, and it should not become an excuse to pursue someone who is not interested.
If you are new to the city, keep the first step small
Choose somewhere you can reach easily and afford to visit again. A regular activity near home may suit you better than an impressive event across the city that leaves you stranded when it ends.
Before attending, you could message the organiser: “I’m new to the area and would be coming on my own. Is this session suitable for newcomers, and is there anything I should bring?” You can also ask about step-free access, noise levels or the likely group size if those affect your decision.
Give yourself one achievable aim for the visit, such as speaking to the organiser and introducing yourself to one person. You can decide afterwards whether the group felt welcoming. Trying a different group is a reasonable choice if it did not suit you.
Start with the situation you share
At a class, ask “Have you tried this before?” At a book group, ask what someone thought of the discussion. At a quiz, ask whether a team has space for another player. These example openers make sense in the setting and give the other person an easy way to answer.
Listen to the reply before adding another question. Share a little about yourself too: “It’s my first time here. I’ve just moved nearby.” A conversation should not feel like an interview about someone’s job, family and future plans.
Pay attention to whether they want to continue. If someone gives a brief reply and returns to their activity, let them do that. People on public transport, wearing headphones or working behind a bar may not be available for a social conversation.
Make an invitation someone can answer
If you have enjoyed talking, suggest a particular next step. For friendship: “I’m planning to come next Thursday. Fancy grabbing a coffee afterwards?” For a date: “I’ve enjoyed talking to you. Would you like to meet for a drink as a date?”
Give them room to decline without having to explain. A polite conversation or a shared interest does not mean someone wants to exchange numbers. If they say no, accept it and carry on with the activity normally.
If you exchange contact details, send a message that identifies you and refers to the plan you discussed. For example: “Hi, it’s Alex from the book group. Were you still up for coffee after next week’s session?” Avoid repeated follow-ups if they do not respond.
For casual dates, be clear about your intentions
A hobby group helps you meet people with a shared interest; it does not tell you who wants a casual relationship. If dating without commitment is your aim, a dating setting gives you a chance to discuss it directly.
If you use Shag, explain what you are looking for in your profile and check what the other person wants before making plans. An example is: “I’m looking for casual dates, rather than a committed relationship. Does that fit what you’re looking for?” Our casual dating guide explains the expectations worth agreeing.
Do not assume matching relationship statuses means matching intentions. Someone being single does not tell you whether they want sex, a date or a relationship. Ask, and respect the answer.
Turn an online conversation into a manageable first meeting
Suggest a public place, a time and a plan with a clear end. “Coffee at 3 on Saturday? I have about an hour” is easier to consider than “We should hang out sometime.” Choose a cost you can comfortably afford and discuss the bill without treating payment as an obligation.
Arrange your own journey and tell someone you trust your plans. Our guide to checking an online date’s identity covers warning signs and sensible precautions. No profile, call or good conversation can guarantee safety.
For places to meet, use our city date guides. Pick one venue and check its current opening hours and booking conditions instead of building a whole itinerary for someone you have not met yet.
If the first attempt feels awkward
An awkward pause does not mean you have failed. You can return to the shared activity, speak to someone else or go home when you planned to. You do not have to stay at an event that makes you uncomfortable to prove you are sociable.
Afterwards, consider something concrete: was the activity enjoyable, did the schedule suit you, and would you like to go again? That gives you a useful next decision without judging your entire social life on one evening.
Make one plan you can actually attend
Choose an event or group, read its details and put one visit in your diary. If you are looking for a date instead, start a conversation with someone whose intentions seem compatible and ask what they want.
Meeting people takes some trial and error. You can enjoy new friendships, want a casual date or decide an invitation does not suit you. Keep the plan honest, make room for the other person’s choice and take the next step only when you both want it.
