If we talk about meeting special friends through the internet, you have to know if the person you are talking to is real. How do you know if he or she is too good to be true – i.e. a fraud – or is the perfect match?
There are two ways to cheat on the internet:
- Impersonating someone completely different from the person you really are.
- Showing only what the other person wants to see.
But you don’t have to become a cyber detective to find someone who matches the profile you’re looking for.
To attract a genuine person, let’s start with these tips.
1. Think about what you really want from a friend with benefits.
And write what will make you a good partner for this.
You need to know what you want and what you can offer before going out there to look for it.
Before creating your profile, list your values and hobbies, and be specific about the type of relationship you are looking for.
Writing things down helps and makes them a goal rather than just a wish.
Then reflect on this list to see what things you want to have in common and what elements you don’t care about so much, so you’ll discover the things to look for when looking at your candidates’ profiles on the dating sites.
If you want to go out with several people, indicate in your profile that you are looking for something. That something could be an informal first date. If you are interested in a serious relationship, indicate it so you won’t waste your time or anyone else’s.
2. Be honest in your profile and you will find someone honest
If you want to find an authentic woman, you must be an authentic man.
Those little lies you tell about being younger, thinner, taller or richer will come to light pretty quickly once you meet in person, if not before.
In other words, be the person you want to attract. Look in the mirror and be brave. Remember that no one is perfect, we all have flaws and baggage.
That doesn’t mean you should rant about your break-ups or work problems on your profile, but do yourself a favour and post recent photos that reflect your real age, so there’s truth to your profile.
3. Choose people who are not perfect
Often the best profiles are those in which someone makes fun of themselves or is honest in claiming, for example, that they have the goal of being able to run a marathon, but have not yet achieved it.
On the contrary, if they say they have a body to die for and describe themselves a model, you have to realise that they may be publishing old photos.
It will be for a reason.
4. Take a closer look at their profile and photos
If someone describes themselves as perfect, you have to realise: that does not exist.
Remember that a picture is worth a thousand words, so if someone includes photos with their friends or photos on which they can be seen in a variety of settings that’s a good sign. If they don’t try to look like a model, they are probably a good choice for someone, and that someone could be you.
If they only post one photo, a blurry one or none at all… watch out.
An authentic woman, with her defined personality, will take the trouble to complete a profile that is not full of selfies and photos like that because she will know that they will be compared with hundreds of other pretenders who do the same.
5. Take the step to call or Skype when it’s convenient
No matter how old you are, meeting new people is great, but for the moment, meeting them in person may have to be postponed. Scheduling a first date by phone or Skype can be a lot of fun if distance gets in the way and you can’t see each other in real life – damned pandemic – for now. That way, you can get an idea of what someone is like and see if they have what you are looking for.
6. Ask a lot of questions
When you are chatting, remember to ask a prospective date some questions such as “Who is your favourite band?” “What is your passion in life?” “Who is the famous person – apart from me – that you would like to have dinner with?”.
Other questions to move the conversation forward and to get to know their philosophy of life in a friendly way may include “What do you do for a living?” “What is your family like?” “How do you think your friends would describe you?
Avoid talking about politics. At least in the beginning.
7. The most important thing is trusting your intuition
Intuition is not a logical thing. It is not the result of a set of conscious steps that can be explained. On the contrary, although it is based on deep knowledge, the process is natural, almost instinctive.
And yet, while intuition is quick and generally beneficial, it is not always entirely accurate: the subconscious brain tries to recognise, process and use thought patterns based on previous experiences to ‘feel’ what you’re feeling.
And that is the key to the intuition, which is more of a feeling than a thought. Therefore, the intuition appears to be far removed from reason.
After all, you can’t explain the thought behind a quick decision that comes out of the blue.
It just happens.
Imagine that your girlfriend goes to live in another city and tells you to have a long-distance relationship. At that moment you already start to feel what is going to happen. And you know it from all the information you’ve gathered in your relationship with her. If you reason, you will find a thousand reasons – or not – to deceive yourself.
Your intuition doesn’t do that.
If you feel that something is not right with someone, even if you don’t know what it is exactly, be cautious or ignore that person completely. Be patient in your search and always put your personal safety first.
There is something surprising when your instinct alerts you to decide whether to go ahead or not. Listen to it.
And remember that there are online dating sites that can help you find that person you’re looking for.
Shag: the perfect tool, even during the pandemic.
To date and shag in London, or in Edinburgh, or any other city or town in the UK is an easy matter thanks to pages like Shag.
Are you looking for friends in the city where you spend your holidays? Occasional sex in your usual place of residence? A stable relationship?
We are now in the middle of a pandemic that is disrupting sexual relations but sooner or later it will pass. The special friends you make will make it possible for you to have sex in person in the future.
And there are other options we have already discussed in this and other articles such as online dating and cybersex.
The important thing is to keep in mind that there are tools specially designed to bring people together.
And the dating sites are one of the best.
Good luck!
