Asking out someone you don’t know can be stressful, asking your best friends out is like walking through a minefield: be very careful.
Are you confused about your feelings towards a friend? Do you think your feelings for a good friend go beyond just friendship?If this is the case your question should not be how to flirt with my best friend, but rather, what should you do when this happens?
Let’s have a look. We’ll give you some dating advice on this.
How To Flirt With A Friend You Like
Perhaps you have been in love with your friend since the first time you saw her, or perhaps the love blossomed after a long friendship.
So do you tell your friend that you like her, or do you just hide your feelings while someone else conquers her right under your nose?
But, even if you decide to tell her, how are you supposed to know if the feelings will be mutual? How do you know if she likes you?
All along, you remind yourself every day that you are just a friend, but at night you can never fall asleep without kissing your pillow, with her name on your mind, and a sad smile on your lips. So emotional, isn’t it?
It seems to be taken right from a page of an old romantic novel.
But it happens. In real life, it happens.
And if you are reading this article, it is possible that it is happening to you.
Understanding what you feel
Sometimes your love for a friend can be evident from the beginning. Many people try to become friends with someone they like just because they are attracted to them from the beginning.
Either way, you must understand that you have both developed a friendship that, for the moment, is just a friendship. And your friend may never have thought about you the way you think about her.
That can make declaring your love for her end up being a disaster.
She might interpret your confession of your love as a betrayal to your friendship, which is something very precious in life.
How To Flirt With A Friend You Like?
The first thing you should do in this whole affair is to ask yourself some questions.
1. Is she really my friend?
Sometimes, when two people are very similar in character, it might make them believe that they are friends, whilst this is actually not the case.
True friendship is knowing that you can call each other on a weekday, in the middle of the night, to help you bury a body. And you would help each other. You help each other because you know the other person would do the same for you.
2. Are you sure that it’s love?
Be careful about this too. Many times we’re not sure if we are in love, so before confessing your love to her, think about whether it’s not simply that you want to go to bed with her, or want to have a quick fling with her, or something along those lines.
Take your time to analyse your feelings and try to go out with other people. If you’re having fun and not thinking about your friend, maybe it’s a good idea to let it go.
As I said, true friendship is about protecting it.
3. When is the best time to tell her?
It’s hard to know. Every person is unique. But, above all, when the person you love is living a moment of happiness. Or, at least, at a time in her life when she is more or less in a happy place.
If you take advantage of a bad moment to tell her, you are deceiving each other.
Love is a celebration, not a place to hide. Therefore:
- Never declare your love to her if her boyfriend has just broken up with her.
- Never declare your love to her if she has just been fired or given similar news.
- Never declare your love her if she has just lost a loved one.
And those kind of situations.
If you do this, you will never know if she has said yes because she likes you or because she needs love and is afraid to be alone. As I said before, love can be a place to hide, and it’s great that it can be, but if that’s all it is, something is not right.
If you feel this way, you should ask yourself what kind of love you want and what kind of person that makes you.
4. Should I tell her even though she is with someone?
That’s a good question. No, you shouldn’t tell her. Under no circumstances. If she’s with someone you’ll have to wait for her to send you signs that she wants something, or that her relationship with her boyfriend is going very badly and they won’t stop arguing, because otherwise you’ll break up a relationship for nothing.
I am talking about your friendship with her.
Unless you don’t mind being with someone who is willing to love two people at once. But that’s another story.
How do you know if your friend is in love with you?
The million dollar question. Well, first of all you have to know how to differentiate love from longing. You can love someone a lot without being in love.
We have said this in other articles, but we’ll repeat it, because it is important:
| Friendship is love without sexuality. |
So you can love someone – to a greater extent – with whom you want nothing more (and nothing less) than friendship.
Keep in mind that when someone is in love they tend to distance themselves a little from reality. Let’s say that their vision is clouded by their feelings. So sometimes it is difficult to differentiate between love and friendship.
If she smiles at you, or spends a lot of time with you, or agrees with you on a variety of issues, she gives you compliments… I’m sorry, all that could still be friendship.
The key thing, in this matter, is her change of attitude.
When someone falls in love with you, they start treating you differently. It doesn’t have to be better. Sometimes, they even distance themselves from you.
So, to find out if your best friend is in love with you, you have to ask yourself what has changed from the time when you didn’t suspect anything.
If her habits have not changed at all, nor her way of relating to you, her feelings probably haven’t either.
How to flirt with a friend: What to do if she says no
More important than knowing how to flirt with a friend is knowing how to keep that friendship in case he or she says no. There are people who cannot be friends after such an episode, but you must do your best to restore that friendship.
It all depends on how intense everything has been. If things became heated, the best thing is that you stop seeing your friend for a while.
This way you give yourself the opportunity to sort out your feelings and emotions.
When some time passes you can tell her something like this:
“Look, what happened then was crazy. I was in a moment of weakness and I confused loving you with being in love. I love you very much, but as a friend, that’s the truth. I’m sorry that I made you believe that there was something else. I thought so too, but no. Of course not.”
She can tell you that she doesn’t believe it and she will have reasons for it, but there is a way to prove it.
By going on dates every weekend with a different woman.
And how do you get a weekly date? Are you kidding? Are you really asking yourself that question?
You’re on Shag, dude.
Make it happen.
You can also read : sexual games for couples
Well, as we have seen, a common theme in interpersonal relationships is the dynamic between friends of the opposite sex. Often, there can be an unrequited romantic attraction, which leads to someone being labeled as a “friend” and falling into the friendzone.
For many, the friendzone is an uncomfortable and frustrating place. However, it is possible to break out of it and transform a friendship into a successful romantic relationship. To do this, you need to be honest and direct with your feelings, but also take into account the other person’s feelings and desires.
Through open and respectful communication, you can succeed in both flirting with a friend and getting out of the friendzone.
So…
15 tricks to get out of the friendzone and fall in love
Curiously, one of the great myths of this situation is that once in the friendzone it’s impossible to get out of it, and with this I couldn’t disagree more. What you need to have clear is that you want to have sex dates and continue being friends – going your separate ways – or move into a formal relationship.
If you find yourself in the friendzone, don´t worry, right now I’ll show you how to get out of the friendzone with these 15 fantastic tricks.
Say goodbye to the emotional hole you´re living in!
Remember that one thing is to want to go out with her, as you´re girlfriend and another is to want casual sex as friends with benefits.
1. Start by valuing yourself as you should
One of the main problems that happens when one’s in the friendzone, is that we usually give more importance to the other person, even more importance than we give ourselves.
This happens a lot when flirting at work, for example. You mustn’t put the other person above you, you have to look after yourself and value yourself as you rightly deserve; it’s not about treating anyone badly, more about not treating yourself badly.
If you know there´s something you don´t like, upsets you or simply hurts you, don´t do it just to make a good impression on her. There are lovely gestures that you can do for people who matter to you and it doesn´t necessarily mean hurting yourself or making yourself feel bad.
2. Give yourself time
Not everything revolves around her, she can’t be the centre of your life. When you’re in the friendzone, in general, one makes themself available to the other person all the time, and this is a big mistake.
Firstly, because she´ll think you´re there for her 100% of the time, without taking into account your time or your needs. Whereas you on the other hand, move heaven and earth for her in order to be there whenever she needs you.
Is that healthy? Well, no, not at all.
Give yourself time for you, you´re just as important as her, in fact you should value yourself even more than her. Do other things apart from him or her, spend time with your friends, don´t respond to her messages the second you receive them and, above all, don´t always go to help her every time she asks for a small favour.
It’s not about ignoring her, but about valuing your time; so she understands that you also have things to do and have your own needs, and you can’t always be there for her whenever she calls.
This won’t only help you to get out of the friendzone, but it will help you to build a healthier relationship. However, let me be clear, if she needs you in an emergency, of course help her, in the end, she’s still important to you.
3. All relationships must be about give and take
Yes, we know you would do anything for her because you think she’s worth it, but this doesn’t mean that you have to give and give and give without receiving anything in return.
Try to balance things out a bit, ask her favours or ask her to do things for you. It doesn´t have to be material things, something simple such as giving you a hand when you need it, it´s a way of making sure she invests a little time in you, and in the same way don´t hesitate to help her either.
In every healthy relationship you should receive as much as you give, in this way you maintain balance, but be careful, it doesn’t mean receiving the same as you give, but something equivalent.
4. How to know if a girl likes you: don’t show the same interest all the time
Do you want to know if a girl who is a friend likes you? Disappear once in a while.
Besides, burn this onto your brain: there isn’t a magic wand that will help her fall in love with you. It isn’t about simply making her a list of songs to make her fall in love with you.
Nothing is that simple when it comes to love.
Because of this, sometimes, showing too much interest can be a reason for her not seeing you as a potential romantic partner. By always being available for her she´ll take it for granted that you won’t ever lose interest in her and you´ll be there for her whenever she needs you.
A piece of advice, apart from giving her your time, don´t be so interested in her; as hard as that may be; you have to make her believe that you don’t have that much interest in her, while still being there for her.
If you follow the previous tricks, you´re on the way to achieving success.
So, remember to balance things out a little, remembering that showing total disinterest will have the same effect as showing too much interest in her.
5. Online dating: Competition is never a bad thing
Competition is something that pushes us to do better, and in this particular case, it can be a great ally. Now, what do I mean by competition? Well, go out with other girls, have your own social life. Online dating could be a great tool for this.
I´m not saying go on blind dates or anything like that, but normal stuff: go out with your friends, without always including her in your plans, tell her about your weekend, about a girl you kissed at a party or another one who flirted with you, or even about the crazy adventures you´ve been having.
It’s not about manipulation, but just allowing her to see you have a life of your own.
Objectively, it’s the healthiest thing to do, and it will help relieve the constant stress of thinking about her and about the relationship you don´t (yet) have a little.
The thing is that, sometimes, knowing how and when to distance yourself is the best way to get closer.
6. Work on yourself
Life´s most important project is you. You have to think and worry about yourself, working on yourself at the same time.
Learning new things, keeping healthy, losing a few pounds or gaining a little extra muscle, things you´ve always dreamed of. Worry about doing the stuff you´ve always wanted to do.
This will not only help you to get her attention without even trying, but you’ll also be working on you and your future.
7. Flirt if you want, but don’t overdo it
You don’t always have to be a perfect gentleman when you’re with her, flirting is natural, and it’s one of the best ways to get someone interested in you, always and only when it’s done well.
It doesn’t mean spending 24/7 making flirty comments, it’s enough to make one when she´s least expecting it. This will make her miss you, and above all, it will make her a little jealous.
What’s important here is not to be on top of her giving her all of your attention. You need to use guerilla tactics, attacking with a roguish comment, pulling away a little, putting your attention on other things, and even avoid responding quickly to her messages.
So she feels you’re there… but you’re also not.
8. Take her to your comfort zone
How many times have you done what she wanted to do? I bet the answer is always. Well, try to change things, again, it’s about balancing the relationship, you don’t have to focus just on what she likes to do, your interests also count.
Take her into your comfort zone, doing things you feel most comfortable doing and you´ll forget about yourself in those moments in which really you´re looking to get out of the friendzone.
In this way, not only won´t you feel so nervous about doing something she might not like, but you´re also giving her the opportunity to see you with fresh eyes, bearing in mind we usually show our best side when we´re doing something we feel comfortable about.
9. It’s important to get on as friends
It’s not for nothing that it’s said that female friends are a wall that separates men from women, if at times an exaggeration, what´s certain is that they can have a certain amount of influence on whether they start to go out with you or not.
Because of this, sincerely making friends with her friends or family is an effective way to get closer to her, and also avoid future problems.
10. Patience is a virtue you will need
Don’t despair if you see that things are moving slowly, remember that first impressions are strong, and it takes time to change this perception she has of you as her ´friend´.
Arm yourself with a lot of patience, because you´re going to need it, unless there´s a drastic event that changes her way of seeing you, but I wouldn´t count on it.
If you find yourself despairing, she´ll probably see you as needy, and that’s not exactly the impression you want to make.
Naturally this isn´t a step you want to take in order to make her fall in love with you.
11. Eye contact is important
Eye contact is important, make eye contact as often as possible, making sure you don’t come across like a psychopath.
A recommended technique is to gaze into her eyes in those moments when she’s saying something that genuinely interests you (believe me faking interest doesn´t work and can bring you problems in the longer term), or when she’s laughing at a joke you made.
Or simply when she´s least expecting it, and once you make eye contact, try not to break it for a couple of seconds.
12. Physical contact is also important
Just as important as eye contact is physical contact. It doesn’t mean grabbing her at inappropriate moments or abusing the trust you have.
A brush of the arm, grabbing hold of her hand unexpectedly, light touches, touching her hand by mistake… This type of physical contact will increase her interest in you little by little, even creating or increasing physical tension between you.
Remember there’s a limit, and you need to take care not to go over it.
13. Learn to read the situation
This is an important skill, and you need to be able to read the situation, you can’t always act in the same way, in general it depends on the situation.
Therefore, knowing how to read the situation is a social skill you will need to master in order to know how to get out of the friendzone.
You have to learn to read when it’s the right moment to make a move, when to step back, when to be there, when not. You need to know how to react to situations as they present themselves, and how to do it in the right way.
This will help you know when to choose the right moments to be physical or make eye contact.
14. Avoid directing the word friend at her
Avoid using the word friend, if you use this kind of language with her you´re more likely to be conditioning her to leave you in the friendzone.
They said that our words shape our reality, and this is a clear example. Avoid these types of terms, and find other ways of referring to her, either by her name or with an affectionate nickname you have for her.
15. Friendzone. Don’t force a relationship where there isn’t one
Finally, as a last piece of advice, don’t force things. It could be that you´re not actually destined to be together, and it’s here where you have to decide if you want to lose her friendship or learn to live with the reality that you´re not going to be together in the way you´d like to be.
Remember being in the friendzone, is, in the end, a choice. You´re there because you want her to see you as more than a friend and you´re not capable of letting go of the relationship you have with her, even if it´s hurting you.
Basically, you´re allowing this person to dictate your life.
